Should have been mad, but I couldn't help but be proud!

Today Xekan and I slept until the early afternoon. For someone on a third shift schedule and the parent of a two year old, this was glorious! But let me tell you WHY he slept so late...

I put him to bed around 9 last night, and he was being pretty needy -- insisting I stay next to him until he fell asleep. We read for a while, and then I told him it was time to sleep. After about 30 minutes of lying silently with him, I told him I was going to go to the living room and for him to go to sleep.

Two minutes after I closed the bedroom door, he came out of the room and asked me if he could listen to some music. He asks for music pretty often, and I will play the kids night time songs on Slacker Radio for him.

I started playing the music on our tablet, and he thanked me with a hug and kiss. Tucked him back in and left the room to clean and read some of my new book. I didn't hear a peep from him until I started to go in there at 3am to sleep.

He was awake... He had picked the tablet up from the floor, exited Slacker, and launched Netflix. I don't know how long he waited after I left the room before doing this, but it must not have been long, because the history showed that he had been watching A LOT of shows the entire time I thought he was sleeping. He was watching everything from Transformers to Chuck & Friends. He happened to be watching Chuck & Friends when I walked in.

I have not had the tablet long, have not ever let him watch Netflix on it, and certainly haven't shown him how to launch it and play show!

He just grinned and said, "Sorry daddy. Come lay down!" I tried to scold him, but I was too impressed to hide my prideful smile. I'm not really sure, but I think I owe him $50 now...

I didn't think to take a photo of him right then, but here are some taken over the weekend that are equally adorable.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

The following is the email I sent to everyone I worked with at Intelliteach earlier today, my last day with the company. Had some email issues that didn't allow me to verify that the distribution list was properly up to date. Posting it here for those that might not have received it. This is by far one of the best places I have ever worked, so leaving wasn't easy.

First of all: http://youtu.be/kfVsfOSbJY0

Now we can move on to the rest of the email.

Intelliteers,lend me your eyes!

As most of you know, today is my last day as an Intelliteer. It has been an amazing three years full great and often strange times that I wouldn't trade for anything. It is, however, time for me to move on and make some serious changes in my life. Before I go, I feel I should leave you all with 10 things I have learned during my time here:

1. Remember the angry and insane calls you receive, not because they are stressful or frustrating, but because they are the most fun to laugh about later. You're getting paid for your ability to do something that caller cannot, and that gives you power over them. They hate that. Plus, you're making memories that will stick with you forever, while that person will not remember it anymore than every other moment in their frustrated existence. Enjoy laughing at them years from now.
2. Do not forget the nice calls, or that there are far more of those than there are bad ones. Especially on bad days, remind yourself that most of the people you speak with are good people, and that can make all the difference in your mood.
3. When the Jeep rides, Tre and Stoph fight over who gets to drive - so you'd better wear a seat belt.
4. If you have been wondering why Donnie McGuire reminds you of someone, but you just can't place it, that person is Matthew McConaughey. You're welcome.
5. In the three plus years I have worked here, there has not been a single employee named Dave/David. For this reason, you should all know that Daniel Wang has been dubbed Dave for the rest of his life.
6. Seriously, there has not been a single Dave at this company in all that time. We have some really weird names, and even a couple of Curtis Williamses that were hired within a month of each other for the same shift, but not a single Dave. What does Intelliteach have against people named David?
7. If you have any questions about anything you can ever imagine, talk to Jordan about it. That man is either a cyborg or the victim of alien experimentation. No matter how obscure the subject, he's heard of it and can talk more in depth on it than anyone else you'll ever meet. I bet if you asked, he could even tell you why Applejacks do not taste like apples.
8. Even if you hate geek culture and all the traffic and mayhem that comes each year with Dragon*Con, go down there on your breaks and lunches to see the people that attend each year. You'll find no better place to people watch, nor will you find a better mass of individuals so unabashedly proud of the things they are passionate about, regardless of how odd most people may find it.
9. If you ever find yourself needing to speak with DeJuan, do not look for him at his desk. He has an explosive device implanted in his skull that will explode if he stops moving for more than 10 minutes at a time, and so far medical science has not found a way to safely remove it.
10. Do not question The Great Christoph. He may seem like a laid back Penn Jillette, but will not hesitate to destroy you with his Viking fury. I once saw him use the skull of a toddler as a goblet, because he believes the tears of his enemy's orphaned children taste better when they are consumed from the place where nightmares live. So, I guess in that sense he's also a bit of a romantic.

I'd also like to remind everyone that I officially give you all permission to add to your resumes that you had the honor of working with me, the most amazingly awesome person in the History of Ever. Consider it my gift to you, because I am a humble man, despite my God-like qualities.

So to everyone:

http://youtu.be/GWbz_mIAShM

And I'd thank you for all the fish, but too many Intelliteers before me have already done that; so keep it classy, Intelliteach.

http://youtu.be/1b26BD5KjH0

Jason Caldwell
Team Lead and Hero of the People

"Stay cool, my babies!" - Conan O'Brien

"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry."- David Duchovny

"I was born an old coal miner's daughter..." Regie Durana

"Jason Caldwell is the greatest human being to ever exist." - Jesse Collins

"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of." -Bruce Lee

"Knowledge is not wisdom." Sara Brown

"I've never been one to treat every new person that I meet, as if they were anyone I've previously met." - Jesse Collins

http://www.facebook.com/bufferkiller

bufferkiller@gmail.com

Conversations with a spam bot.

tyni Deluxe (10:34 PM): 

Jason (10:34 PM):  Hola!

tyni Deluxe (10:35 PM):  Hello there.. My name is Cynthia.. Got ur ID through Messenger Directory 

Jason (10:35 PM):  I was wondering why I didn't recognize the name/address.

Jason (10:35 PM):  You're a spambot, aren't you?

tyni Deluxe (10:35 PM):  I love chatting with new people.. Would you like to chat today? Where are you from?

Jason (10:36 PM):  I raped a chicken this morning.

tyni Deluxe (10:36 PM):  Nice Im 22 years old i'm going to school in Orlando.. Can i ask you a question?

Jason (10:36 PM):  Only if it has to do with how to properly rape a chicken.

Jason (10:37 PM):  Of course everyone thinks that raping a chicken is as simple as pulling your cock out and ramming it up the chicken's egg hole.

Jason (10:38 PM):  But there is a lot more to it than that.

Jason (10:38 PM):  First you have to scare the chicken.

tyni Deluxe (10:38 PM):  Do you like big booty girls with big tits? lol seriously cuz thats what i am/have..Is that too much for you to handle?

Jason (10:38 PM):  I like scared chickens with tight egg holes.

Jason (10:38 PM):  Have you not been paying attention?

tyni Deluxe (10:38 PM):  so yea i'm lonely would you like to have some kinky fun? Would you like to see me?

Jason (10:38 PM):  Will there be chickens?

tyni Deluxe (10:38 PM):  ok but i have no pictures on my computer.. but i have a video camera connected 

Jason (10:39 PM):  I don't have a camera, but I still have a bloody feather that I keep sniffing to make it through the day.

tyni Deluxe (10:39 PM):  ok let me set up my camera for you baby i hope your ready for some booty shots..

Jason (10:40 PM):  Let me grab my chicken raping boots.

tyni Deluxe (10:40 PM):  lol ok goto http://www.webcaminvitation.info/kab and we can go 1 on 1 chat. Just click join at the top of the webpage.

Jason (10:41 PM):  I don't click any links that aren't obviously about slutty chickens that are asking to be raped.

Jason (10:41 PM):  Plus, everyone knows that chickens are scared of the internet.

Jason (10:42 PM):  So, are we going to fuck this chicken against its will, or not?

Jason (10:43 PM):  I like to be called Colonel when I'm fucking chickens.

tyni Deluxe (10:45 PM):  http://www.webcaminvitation.info/krz

Jason (10:46 PM):  You changed it?

Jason (10:46 PM):  Is that the link for your sexy chicken videos?

tyni Deluxe (10:46 PM):  Don't worry baby its free to join this site all you have to do is register

Jason (10:46 PM):  Can I call you Scabby McTitterly?

tyni Deluxe (10:46 PM):  fill out your cc info baby for Age verification ONLY, your card will not be charged.. ok i'm ready for u now

Jason (10:47 PM):  My balls are registered.

Jason (10:47 PM):  Registered weapons of fowl destruction!

tyni Deluxe (10:47 PM):  What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere...

Jason (10:47 PM):  Egg Poop Brown.

Jason (10:50 PM):  Sometimes I feel like a frog, but frogs don't have feathers.

tyni Deluxe (10:50 PM):  I'll do anything you want me to do.. Do you see me? I can't chat with you on the site till you register 

Jason (10:51 PM):  I can't scratch my balls until I get all the feathers and glue out of my pants.

tyni Deluxe (10:51 PM):  Baby I'm So Horny right now! Do Whatever You have to, to get in! i'll spank my ass till its red for u!!!

Jason (10:52 PM):  Are you trying to get me arrested for assault?!

Jason (10:52 PM):  This is why I only fuck chickens. Cops never listen to them.

tyni Deluxe (10:52 PM):  Your such a good boy, i'm gonna show you what good boys deserve.. i'll be waiting for you on the site...

Jason (10:52 PM):  I'll be here, thinking about chickens.

Jason (10:53 PM):  Thank you for reminding me to stop and think about the little things, Scabby McTitterly.